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Stupid……

Police in Oregon, USA, saw drunken Sean McDowell, 24, picking up the 1.3m (4ft) tall toy outside a shop and simulate sex with it twice.

‘He was pretty enamoured with it and decided he was taking it home,’ said Sergeant Bob Smith.

‘Then he turns and sees one of our officers and he puts the giraffe down and walks away. Later in the evening, he did it again. Maybe he had struck out with all the women at the bar and this giraffe was looking pretty good.’

The poor giraffe belongs to the Bug A Boo children’s store and was removed to a place of safety at the station.

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Because he forgot the paper works……

The prime minister of Vanuatu has been stripped of his position and parliamentary seat because of a basic paperwork error.

Edward Natapei, who has been attending a Commonwealth summit, missed three consecutive sittings without submitting a written explanation for his absence.

Under Vanuatu’s law, this means he must forfeit his seat.

The Pacific island-nation will now be ruled by a caretaker government until MPs elect a new prime minister.

The vote is expected next week, and there will also be a by-election for Mr Natapei’s seat.

To have retained his seat, Mr Natapei – who is now flying back from the Commonwealth summit in Trinidad and Tobago – needed simply to have notified the parliamentary Speaker.

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What a tongue.

PETER Sinclair is a $10 million man in his workplace – but this cheese grader is no boardroom heavyweight. Sinclair, a top-level cheese taster has just had his taste buds insured for the multi-million dollar amount.

It is not the first time that a man has chosen to protect what he considers to be his greatest asset;

Former Test cricketer Merv Hughes took out a policy of over $300,000 on his notorious handle-bar moustache and Dutch wine taster Ilja Gort insured his nose for $8 million.

In the sporting world, football stars such as David Beckham and Cristiano Ronaldo have their goal-scoring legs insured for up to a staggering $144 million.

London-based company Lloyds have provided the policy for Mr Sinclair, which insures the tasting process that he undertakes every day as well as his sense of taste and smell.

Their agreement officially makes Mr Sinclair’s taste buds the most expensive in Australia.

“My taste buds are completely integral to my job,” he said.

“During routine cheese inspections, I carefully smell the cheese to detect any abnormalities, then assess the texture by pressing the cheese firmly between the forefinger and thumb to determine texture attributes and finally take a bite to ascertain the maturity of the cheese.

“My taste buds are my livelihood.”

Mr Sinclair’s new policy was encouraged by his employer, Mainland, who need him to oversee the production of 13 million kilograms of cheese every year.

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I like what the judge said!

A PASSIONATE young couple who kept their whole apartment block awake with their non-stop love-making have won a case to avoid being evicted from their flat.

Judges ruled it could not be proved they were having sex at the time

Desperate neighbours in Stockholm, Sweden, had asked the court to kick

Bjorn Forsberg, 28, and Michelle Larsson, 26, were dobbed in by their irate neighbours for breaching the noise nuisance terms of their lease.

But judges ruled: “It cannot be determined which flat was responsible for the noise or exactly what they might have been doing inside.”

One disgruntled neighbour said:” Their screams of passion were so loud I could hear them three floors away. I don’t think they were playing cards.”

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Good news for girls.

A new therapy that is intended to regrow a woman’s breast from her own cells after a mastectomy could be offered to British patients for the first time next year, The Times has learnt.

A patient trial of the new technique, which induces fat tissue to fill a breast-shaped scaffold implanted under the skin, is being planned for the spring by surgeons at a London hospital.

The initative comes as scientists in Australia announced yesterday that they would start treating women using a similar procedure within six months, the result of successful tests on pigs and mice.

If the trials are successful, the new approach would transform breast reconstruction, offering an alternative to saline and silicone implants that is likely to achieve better cosmetic results and a more natural feel.

The technique, which is expected to regenerate a breast in about eight months, could also be used for breast enlargement, though it will initially be used to treat cancer patients.

Professor Kefah Mokbel, of the London Breast Institute and St George’s Hospital, told The Times that he would seek approval from his ethics committee to try the procedure next month, and hopes to be cleared to start treating patients by next March.

The Australian team, led by Professor Wayne Morrison, of the Bernard O’Brien Institute of Microsurgery in Melbourne, has already obtained ethical approval for a trial involving half a dozen women, which will start within six months.

Professor Mokbel said that his first patients would be women who had been cancer-free for at least two years. That is to guard against the possibility of stimulating the growth of cancer cells left over after surgery, which is the chief risk of the treatment. “This is the next step in breast reconstruction surgery,” he said. “It is potentially a very exciting development. I believe it will be successful, and will allow us to regrow a fatty breast that looks and feels more natural.”

He added that it should be used only in clinical trials, not least because of the risk of restarting a patient’s cancer.

The technique, which the Australian team has named Neopec, involves removing some of the woman’s own fat cells, and enhancing the concentration of stem cells within them in the laboratory. A biocompatible scaffold is then implanted under the patient’s skin, to create a cavity that matches the shape of her other breast.

The stem cell-enhanced fat is injected into the cavity, which the cells divide to fill. The cavity is attached to blood vessels under the arm.

The Melbourne team, which has been developing the technology for a decade, has recently tested it on pigs, which grew new breasts within six weeks.

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Relax!

The farmer in Axedale, a town in Victoria in the south-east of the country, called the emergency services after believing he had smelled gas.

But when the fire crews arrived, they found the real culprit – a 260lb sow the family’s children kept as a pet.

Fire captain Peter Harkins said: “When we got there, as we drove up the driveway, there was this huge sow, about a 120-odd kilo (265-pound) sow, and it was very obvious where the gas was coming from.

“We could not only smell it, but we heard it and it was quite funny.”

He added: “She got very excited when two trucks and 15 firies turned up and she squealed and farted and squealed and farted.

“I haven’t heard too many pigs fart but I would describe it as very full-on.”

However, despite the false alarm, Mr Harkins said the farmer had done the right thing by calling 000 (the Australian equivalent of 999). He told The Melbourne Herald Sun: “It’s all bottled gas up here and a leaking cylinder could pose a major fire risk.

“It was because we took it so seriously that 15 volunteers still managed to attend the call out at 10.30 on Tuesday night.”

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I don’t know what Matryomin is until I watched this video. I feel, a bit sicked, or weird. The way playing this “musical instrument” is so … unusual.

Matryomin is the unique, original erectronic musical instrument invented by Masami Takeuchi in 1999. It is a type of theremin – oldest electro-musical instrument invented in Russia – shaped Russian traditional wooden doll, Matrioshka.
It hold form of Matrioshka perfectly, moreover, performing five octaves range. The distance of 1 octave at Low-Middle range is equal to Etherwavetheremin of Moog Music Inc. If you have acquired the basic technique to play theremin by Etherwavetheremin, you can enjoy playing Matryomin by same way. Matryomin is only pitch controlled theremin.

Mandarin Electron, a company directed by Masami Takeuchi, started manufacturing Matryomin on a commercial basis in 2003. Now, Matryomin is going on 2nd generation model. Selled over 1,600 till now in Japan

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This is interesting.

ODA is the short form of Oregon’s Office of Degree Authorization.

DEGREE mills that churn out ‘graduates’ at the drop of a hat are the sort of dodgy outfits we link with shadier parts of the world, but the problem is a lot closer to home and threatens to harm Singapore’s name as an education centre.

Small as it is, the country appears six times on a list compiled by Oregon’s Office of Degree Authorisation (ODA).

The American state has strict laws regarding the use of qualifications from unaccredited institutions and those dubbed ‘degree mills’ or ‘degree suppliers’. It requires that a person’s business cards, CV and letterhead declare if his degree is from an unaccredited university.

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Singapore-linked schools listed on ODA unaccredited degrees list:

Cranston University, Lee Community College, Templeton University, Trident University of Technology, Vancouver University Worldwide, Westmore University

Creative, or just too drunk and horny?