Santa Claus Shortage In Germany

Too bad that I’m not chubby……

BERLIN (Reuters) - Wanted: Cheerful, chubby men, preferably with fluffy white beards and no criminal record, ready to work hard for one month.

Germany is running out of qualified Santa Clauses and needs to recruit and train them fast, a leading job agency says.

Germans are trying to shut out the financial crisis by taking comfort in traditional festivities, and there is an acute shortage of Santas to entertain children at shopping centers, Christmas markets and private parties.

Tradition-seeking Germany faces Santa shortage

Penis Nearly Bitten Off By Police Dog

Compare to the man whose penis was eaten by flesh-eating bacteria, Dirk Zimmer should count himself lucky……

Football fan Dirk Zimmer wants to sue German police after a watchdog bit him in his privates.

Dirk (38) was left in agony after the heavy handed policemen set the vicious dog on him after they mistook him for a hooligan.

“Your dog nearly bit my privates off!”

Europe 3rd Richest Woman In Sex Tape/Blackmail Saga

Susanne Klatten is the 40th richest person in the world, 3rd richest woman in Europe, heiress of BMW. She got herself in a sex tape/blackmail saga recently.

A £6 MILLION sex-and-blackmail plot involving the richest woman in Germany has been smashed by Italian police.
Susanne Klatten, 48, who is the 40th richest person in the world with a fortune equivalent to £4 billion, was targeted by her lover, Helg Sgarbi, and his accomplice, Ernano Barretta.

They threatened to send DVDs showing the married mother of three having sex with Mr Sgarbi, 41, to newspapers all over the world.

The heiress finally went to the police after handing over more than £5 million in blackmail money.

Susanne Klatten in Wikipedia
Germany’s richest woman: blackmailed for millions
BMW heiress caught up in £6m sex-and-blackmail plot
German heiress at centre of sex tape blackmail plot

Her Son Died, But She Just Can’t Let Go…

It is not just human who knows what “love” is, animals know it as well……
gorilla
Taken from Telegraph

Gana is a female gorilla living in a zoo in Muenster, north of Germany. Her three-month-old son Claudio is dead, but she doesn’t seem to understand it.

She has been staring at the corpse in shock and bewilderment, unable to accept that he is dead.

Initially puzzled, Gana stared at the body, bewildered, then started stroking the baby to try and bring it back to life.

She tried gently placing him on her back and slowly walking around the compound, stopping to look if he had returned to life every few paces.

Yesterday, zookeepers were still unable to get to the body of Claudio, because Gana is fiercely guarding over him.

Gana, I feel for you.

Gorilla grieves over death of her baby
Gorilla mum’s agony as baby dies
A mother’s grief: Heartbroken gorilla cradles her dead baby

“Nearly-New Baby” on Sale on eBay

A German couple put their 7-months baby on sale on eBay with “nearly-new” as description. The starting price was 1 Euro. After being seized by the police, the couple said that it was meant to be a “joke’. The father is 24 while the mother is 23 years old. The police is investigating if it is a baby-trafficking case.

German services seize ‘eBay baby’

Germans said his penis too big, Austrians’re not happy with his butt

I am talking about Aenus, a statue unveiled recently at a border town between German and Austria, called Simbach. It is a statue of a man riding on a giant fish. The Austrians are not happy because the butt of the statue is facing Austria directly. And some Germans said that the penis of the statue is too big…

This should be that statue:
Aenus

The Earth Times: German sculpture shows bare backside to Austria
FAZ.net: Flussgott mit „Popsch“ (in German)